Let Me Live That Fantasy
by HighOnSky
Summary: Quinn thinks their past is nothing but a fantasy. A fantasy Sirius desperately wants to live in. Quinn knows that knowing he's innocent should change everything and yet it just makes her even more bitter to him. He hopes that reliving their fantasy will help her want it back but she thinks he just can't face reality. A tale of broken hearts and failed romance. Art by Dailan.
1. Chapter 1

Let Me Live That Fantasy

Chapter One

Quinn's jaw clenched and her knuckles were starting to burn against the porcelain of her mug. "As all of that may very well be this does not at all mean that I have to like him in any way shape or form," she said clicking her tongue against her teeth. Every part of her Auror instincts had her hand on her wand and mouth slightly agape to form the words of complicated hexes. Yet she did not move, though her body remained tense, as she faced the object of her hunt that had been going on for nearly thirteen years.

"Okay well perhaps I do deserve at least some of that cold shoulder," Sirius grimaced, speaking for the first time in the hour that Quinn's brother, Kingsley, had been explaining the entire situation of Sirius and the Order. A hiss escaped her in such a way that it was a wonder that she wasn't a parseltongue. Kingsley seemed to be the only one finding any humor in the situation, a smile playing at the corner of his lips as his warm eyes passed over the two.

"I think that it is perhaps all deserved Sirius," Kingsley rumbled as his voice rose from his chest, a wonder it was still so smooth after being the only one talking for an hour. "After all you were the reason that she rose in rank so quickly, her hunches very nearly got you caught out in more than a few situations," there was an uncomfortable shift between the two at these words. Quinn remembering moments in those situations she wasn't proud of and Sirius more than likely remembering exactly why she knew his logic better than anyone else on the task force.

Kingsley seemed to take this shift as to hopefully mean that they were starting to lighten up but as the room only grew steadily colder and darker he cleared his throat once more. "Either way, like each other or not, we are now working for the same cause. It's reason enough to be civil to one another. And if you want to sit here in silence then so be it but I believe the other hungry mouths of the house will find it quite boring dinner entertainment," he said finally pushing his chair back to release the privacy charm on the door with and jab in its direction.

In that moment Sirius risked looking up and in a low voice said "It's … nice to see you again Quinn." Quinn didn't respond or even move, not sure if to take this as truth or his attempt at trying to be civil. Either way she wasn't in the mood to accept either of the curtseys. Sirius remained hopeful for a few more minutes, a flash of white signaling a smile in her direction, but he betrayed his own nerves by taking the opportunity to get dinner started as soon as it rose. Quinn choose to stay as far away from him as possible, which wasn't hard as she was introduced to everyone that was staying in the house.

"Oh Quinn dear how lovely to see you at last," Molly said wringing her hand before guiding her along to meet the rest of what was being called within the Order "The Cleaning Crew". She of course already knew the Weasley kids from the various cramped quarters they caused on bring your child to work day at the ministry. Hermione seemed to already know about her, she had been warned she always knew a bit too much about everything, and as soon as Harry finally made the rounds to her a smile graced her features at last.

"It's nice to finally meet you Harry," she said softly as she grasped his hand for perhaps a moment too long though it wasn't his scar that she lingered on but rather the structure of his face. His expressions were ones she knew all too well because as much as he looked like his father he had inherited more from Lily than just her eyes. The thought made her throat tighten slightly, Lily wouldn't have wanted her behaving as she had earlier towards Sirius. He was innocent after all and she should be happy to be reunited with a friend even if the circumstances were one no one would have ever wanted.

"It's nice to meet you too. You're Kingsley's sister?" he asked with a slightly raised eyebrow glancing from her to her brother with a questioning expression. The two siblings laughed, they were used to the almost skeptical looks they got when people learned of their shared lineage. It could get a bit annoying at times but over the years they had learned to laugh about it. It just caused a lot less stress than getting irked every time it happened and during the current state of the world the less stress the better.

"Yeah it's all in the hairline can't you tell?" Quinn grinned as she twirled one of her long burnt caramel waves on her finger as she pointed to Kingsley's bald dome with her free hand. Everyone around her chuckled and the room seemed to instantly lighten, she even saw Sirius seem to let out a long breath from the corner of her eyes. She hadn't meant to seek him out but old habits die hard but she wasn't going to actively let them crawl back. So when the food was ready she made a point to walk past him, flipping her hair as her robes fluttered against him, and took the seat farthest away.

The whole troop managed to get through half of what seemed to be the five course meal Sirius had helped conjure up in his desperate need to avoid Quinn when Arthur finally showed up looking completely worn down. She gave him an empathetic smile as she made room for him between herself and Molly. "They still making things as rough as possible for you then?" she asked patting his shoulder as she shook her head.

Mr. Weasley gave a bit of a sigh as he all but dived into his bowl of stew, his eyes drooping still as he spoke up. "When aren't they would be the real question to ask I'm afraid" he groaned, arching slightly to crack his back before giving a large smile. "But it always makes me feel better to see old friends back together again! I can't tell you how hard it has been for me not to tell you our best kept secret myself of course but well I do think your brother would have done a much better job explaining the situation than I," he said clapping his hands together as he looked between Quinn and Sirius.

The table slowly fell into a fit of silence, broken only by Molly whispering about him having no tact and Sirius continuing eating as if he had gone deaf at the moment Mr. Weasley had spoken. "What so you two knew each other then?" Fred spoke up with George nodding at his side; while they were the most out spoken it was clear that they had only said what the other kids were thinking. She could swear she saw Sirius go slightly pink, which she sure was mimicked on her own face which made it grow even darker as she remembered how much it made her freckles stand out. She remembered a time when Sirius had said he loved seeing her freckles up close.

She cleared her throat and looked down at her own plate. "Well we went to Hogwarts at the same time and I was friends with Lily. So when she and James became an item the marauders just kind of got fused with our group," she struggled wanting nothing more than for the conversation to be closed. A point she tried to make evident by saying in a falsely cheery voice "So what's for dessert? I haven't had anything sweet in ages," and clapping her hands together. As she could have predicted, however, the subject seemed to be the highlight of the evening for the kids.

"There's more to it than that isn't there?" Harry asked, piercing her with jaded eyes that told her that he already knew the answer to his own question. "I thought I knew you earlier but couldn't remember where I saw you but now I remember. In my parents wedding photos you're in almost all of them. A lot of them you're practically glued to Sirius side," he said in an almost accusing voice. Quinn couldn't really blame him; after all that Sirius had suffered through Harry would of course come to defend his godfather against any more hurt. Quinn obviously falling into that category in his mind.

"Yeah well they generally serve a lot of drinks at those things she was just holding me up like a good friend would," Sirius quickly jumped in for the save and getting a befuddled look from both Quinn and Harry. It was an answer neither of them had expected and yet from the look passed between Harry and his friends it was one that they didn't buy. This seemed to be the final word on the topic though as three different pies were brought to the table, loudly being passed out by Molly who, much to Quinn's amusement, gave the loud mouthed boys as well as her husband smaller slices.

It was with the addition of sugar that the mood returned to an almost normal state of laughter and updates of who was going to be joining them on which nights for dinner. An attempt on Mrs. Weasley's part, Quinn thought, to entice her to also join them. As tempted as she was to never return except for meeting's she had to admit this food was much better than the quick bites she often got from Matilda's Easy Heat by Wand Meals at the office. It wasn't that she didn't know how to cook it was just that she couldn't often be bothered. She was just so determined to catch Black that she hardly ever bothered to go home to eat. At least she couldn't fool herself with that excuse any more.

Quinn would have loved nothing more than to disappear into the night as soon as her fork hit an empty plate but she felt guilty about not helping make dinner so she was honor bound to help clean up after herself. Unfortunately for her though it seemed Mrs. Weasley found the need to cattle all of her herd upstairs, with the assistance of Mr. Weasley and for some reason Kingsley had the sudden urge to see the process being made in the house cleaning, leaving her alone with Sirius. She didn't fret too much at first, thinking he would surely find some reason to excuse himself after the scene at dinner but to her heart stopping horror he instead between the stove and the sink.

Quinn's heart was in her throat and her ability to breath seemed like something of the past as the only thing separating her from Sirius had shrunk from an entire room to one plate. The muscles in her forearm twitched as a strong desire to slap him swelled like a balloon, one that rammed twenty miles into a pin cushion as soon as he spoke in the intimate rasp she use to know. "I won't talk about what we were Quinn but I don't like keeping anything from our godson," he said in equal parts warning and longing. It was almost enough to melt her heart. Almost.

"Now that's not fair and you know it Sirius. He at least knows that you are his god father. I was never allowed to release the information and if I did now I'm sure I wouldn't get the warm welcome you did since I wasn't locked up for almost his whole life. It killed me not being able to go see him and take him own. And while its not your fault you weren't there you know he doesn't blame you for it but if he is as much like James as I think he is, he will never forgive me in the same way. So never use that as a threat against me ever again," she whispered heatedly, shoving the plate into his chest, fire running through her veins at such a low blow. A fire stoked when Sirius chuckled.

"You know I really have missed you Quinn. So much has changed since the last time I was free. Its nice to know you aren't one of them." Sirius said with such sincerity that Quinn was forced to accept that he meant what he said, a small tug at her heart with that realization. Although, pulled heartstrings or not, though Quinn was not in any forgiving mood and had to keep everything in perspective, no matter how skewed she knew her emotions were making it.

"Yeah well I have changed. Good night Black." She replied coldly shoving her way past him and out the door. She was not going to let her previous love of Sirius Black get in the way of hating him now.


	2. Chapter 2

Let Me Live That Fantasy

Chapter Two

It would have been a lie to say that things weren't tense inside the Order's headquarters for the first month that Quinn became a regular guest. seemed to make it her goal to get Quinn and Sirius alone together whenever possible. Hermione having informed the victims that the only reason they had ever been given was that "there needs to be more love in the world in such dark times." It was apparent to anyone who looked in on one of the instances where these plans had worked that half of the unfortunate duo was much more tolerant of the situations than the other. In fact Sirius seemed almost eager to accept tasks where he was paired with Quinn even if the other always managed to be late to an appointment at that same time.

After one particular well thought out plan, one that had sent Quinn running to help take down some murderous curtains only to find Sirius already on the task, Harry approached his grandfather with a plate full of sandwiches that had been intended for the two of them. "You know I'm beginning to think that she may not be that into you Sirius," Harry said slouching down on the floor next to his godfather who was running a hand down his face.

"Heh keen observation but the silent treatment is just our form of foreplay. A couple more months of this and just you wait she won't be able to keep her hands off of me," Sirius said with a dismissive wave of his hand and a hoarse laugh. He of course thought he was nothing short of hilarious but the silence that hang in the air as Harry looked expectantly at him, the ever lingering question that was so persistent in the younger presences in the house hanging heavy in the room. He choose to ignore it and stuff his face instead.

"So there is something or rather was something between you two then? I mean you do make a cute couple but I think you could get someone who, you know, actually likes you," Harry said passing over a flask of pumpkin juice just as Hermione and Ron entered the room. Sirius had seen them lingering around in the hall but now that it was lunch time he assumed that they thought that the time for eavesdropping was officially done.

"Oh I'm sure she still likes him, if she didn't still have some feeling for him then she wouldn't be acting this way. She would have forgiven him in a minute and gotten along with him just peachy. You only get this angry at people you really care for, if angry is the right word, she isn't an easy cookie to crack" Hermione said in a matter of fat tone as if they had all missed an answer on an open book test. The two boys just gave a passing look to one another, both accustomed to her frank explanations, but Sirius couldn't help but feel a little cheered up. She was right after all, if Quinn was that pissed at him than surely it must mean she retained something for him. The though made him relax against the wall a bit more comfortably.

Of course he couldn't let them think that their little mystery team had won just yet though so he simply rolled his eyes and gave a shrug of his shoulders. "Or she could just have an issue with working with a criminal that she had been right on the verge of catching. Plus she never really has been an agreeable person. I don't think she ever really liked my whole bad boy attitude," he smirked with the haunt of a smile on his lips. The irony of his words not being truly appreciated by anyone but himself since he was sure the only reason she paid him any mind in their seventh year was because he was that bad boy her parents hated.

"Yeah sure mate but either way I think you can do better as it is. No point in bothering with someone that stubborn in my book," Ron said with an avalanche of crumbs down the front of his robes. His lack of tactfulness earned him a sharp jab to his ribs as well as a swift kick to the shins making him sputter the whole sandwich he had managed to cram into his gob. On another instance Sirius might have felt bad for the double attack but not today. Instead he just glared over at him and his hand instinctively going to where his wand was against his leg.

"Well your friends still bother with you, _mate"_ Sirius said with his lips in a tight line "and you hardly even know Quinn. You've seen her angry at me but that's not the real her. Not by a long shot," he said gazing off into the distance, keeping his cool by letting his thoughts linger on those better days. The days when Quinn would crack a joke that was more than just a cold stab at Sirius and she never went anywhere without a smile. He really did think that these three would have gotten on perfect with her. She seemed to be able to get along with just about anyone, he missed that Quinn.

Ron, at last, seemed to get the hint that he had hit a cord within Sirius and remained quiet. Even his chewing seemed to be silent at this point, which made Sirius smile to himself. He, however, did not miss the look of accomplishment passed between the three. Perhaps he was too quick to jump to her defense. Well he guessed they already made up their own minds about his relationship with Quinn so it didn't really matter at this point. He wasn't about to openly admit that their suspicions were correct. Even if she didn't mind him blabbing his mouth to them he was much too proud to give them the satisfaction.

The next couple of minutes passed by in relative quiet, the sounds of the others moving around with their own tasks echoing throughout the house. The peace of their lunch was suddenly broken by a string of curses and a loud thud followed by a frustrated growl. Sirius was the first to his feet, wand at the ready as he hurried past his guests "Stay put while I go see what that's about," he warned before dashing off to his own room where the sound had come from.

When he arrived he saw his door open and peeked in to see Quinn pulling with all her strength against a photo on his wall, both of her feet against it as she gripped to the frayed edged. Sirius lips quivered as he lowered his wand and leaned against the door frame, watching as she soon bounced across the floorboards. "So you think your mighty strength is a match for a permanent sticky charm now? You always did have a big head on your shoulders," he chuckled as he went to examine what picture had her panties all in a knot. He guessed he shouldn't have been all too surprised to see that it was a picture of them, a much younger version. In fact it looked as if they were still in Hogwarts.

"I remember this; it was right before we graduated. The day we finished our last N.E.W.T exam. Yeah … yeah it has to be because your hair is all black and you're wearing that bright purple lipstick your mom hated," he grinned as he saw the picture Sirius wipe off a smudge of the same purple color from his own lips. It wasn't at all hard to believe that Lily had caught them in the middle of a snogging session. That was all they really did in their school days, they certainly hadn't been in love in this picture but he could tell that they were happy. Happy and oblivious to what was happening in the outside world; to what was waiting for them while they charged head first into the war thinking that they would change everything.

When he looked up he half expected Quinn to be gone but instead he saw her looking at the picture with slightly glazed over eyes. A small ember of hope sparked inside him, maybe she was remembering those memories too. "Yeah I remember …"


End file.
